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How to Handle Your Bully Brain

 

You know something?

 

I’ve been dealing with the meanest person for a really long time.

 

And I finally found the strength to stand up to her.

 

Meet my Bully Brain - BB, for short.

 

She’s a mean, spiteful little bitch—
and she lives rent-free in my head.

 

The Voice in Your Head

 

My internal dialogue was ruthless.
I know yours probably is too.

 

And THAT is the problem!

 

We all have that voice.
That cruel little narrator in the back of our minds, constantly throwing hateful crap at us.

 

But no one ever tells you the truth:

You can talk back.

In fact, you should.

 

Because no one else is going to stand up for you—
no one else can hear the asshole.

 

The Voice You Ignore Might Be Helping You

 

Here’s the twist—not every thought is BB.

Sometimes your brain isn’t bullying you.
It’s begging you to pay attention.

Think about it:

A thought keeps popping into your head:
"You should do yoga."

You ignore it.

A few days later, while stretching, it whispers again:
"You should really do yoga."

Still, you brush it off.

Then one quiet morning, coffee brewing, birds chirping, soft breeze coming through the window…
there it is again:
"You should do yoga."

If you keep ignoring it?
Don’t be surprised when you pull a muscle and end up in physical therapy—which, spoiler alert, is just stretching with a co-pay.

See? Sometimes your brain isn’t cruel.
It’s trying to help you.

But Then There’s BB…

Other times?
It’s just her.

Like when your internal war is with your body.

You wake up, get dressed, catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.
Instant shame spiral.

BB slides into the front seat like she’s been waiting all morning.

Even if you were having a good day—
once she’s there, she lives to rip you apart.

Before you know it, you’re not just questioning your outfit—
you’re questioning your worth, your relationships, your entire damn existence.

The truth is, most of us don’t know how to stand up for ourselves…
to ourselves.

A Peek Inside My Head

Here’s what it used to sound like:

I’m sitting next to my husband, relaxed.
He moves his arm from my shoulder to my waist and pulls me closer.

And just like that, BB is awake.

BB:

• “OMG, he touched your stomach. Ewwww, it’s so squishy. I’m so embarrassed.”
• “Sit up, suck in, maybe grab a blanket and cover yourself.”
• “Ew girl. You’re gross. You need to work out. Eat less.”
• “Let’s just do smoothies for the next few days.”
• “Actually, go eat that ice cream first. Tonight doesn’t matter. You already screwed up.”

So I’d eat the ice cream.

And every bite was a fight between the part of me that wanted to feel okay…
and BB screaming I was a failure.

Then she’d start again:
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ATE THAT. You’re so weak. You give in so easily.”

It spirals. Fast.

Here’s What Changed: I Talked Back

When BB shows up now?
I fight.

If I’m in public, I tell her to shut it—we’ll deal with it later.

If I’m home, safe?
I engage.

• Me:
  • “What’s your problem?”
• BB:
  • “Your weight.”
• Me:
  • “Why is that a problem?”
• BB:
  • “Because you’re not comfortable in your skin.”
• Me:
  • “Okay. Are we willing to stay this way?”
• BB:
  • “No.”
• Me:
  • “Then what do we need to change?”
• BB:
  • “You already know.”
• Me:
  • “Cool. Let’s make a plan.”

 

And here’s the deal—if I don’t follow through and she shows up again, I don’t let her run the show.
I remind myself: she’s a reminder, not the ruler.

 

So, When BB Shows Up…

Don’t freak out.
Don’t believe her.
But don’t ignore her either.

Pay attention.
Ask questions.
Set boundaries.

Sometimes she’s pointing to an unhealed part of you.
Sometimes she’s just being an asshole.

Either way—you’re the one in charge.

Next time she comes for you, just say:
“Thanks for the reminder, but go kick rocks.”