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The Hardest Part of Parenting? Realizing They Learned It from You

 

One of the hardest moments in parenting is the realization that all the little things your kids do that drive you absolutely crazy—they probably learned from you (or your partner). That’s why they’re so good at pushing your buttons. They know exactly where they are.

 

You’ve probably heard the saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Now flip that and look at it through your child’s eyes. For the first several years of their life, you are their whole world. So when they snap back with an attitude, stall when it's time to clean up, or argue in that specific, infuriating way—you might be staring at a reflection of yourself.

 

We know this on the surface, but it runs deeper than just tone and tantrums.

 

Do you want your kids to clean up after themselves?

Well… do you clean up after yourself?

 

I’m not talking about the once-a-week deep clean. I mean in the moment—do you return things to their place after using them? Take your empty drink to the recycling bin at night, or leave it on the table for tomorrow? Take the trash out when it’s full, or push it down and pretend it’s not your problem? And don’t even get me started on laundry—because, honestly, I’m guilty. My laundry lives in baskets way too long. So why am I surprised when my daughter takes forever to hang up her clothes? I’ve taught her—without ever saying a word—that this is a dreaded chore to avoid at all costs.

 

It’s humbling to realize that our children are mirrors. And when they reflect something that frustrates us, it’s not just a parenting challenge—it’s a personal red flag. It's a moment to pause, ask why it bothers us so much, and consider whether that behavior started with them… or us.

 

Parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being self-aware enough to course correct—not just our kids, but ourselves.