‹ Back

You know something?

 

I’ve been dealing with the meanest person for a really long time.
And I finally found the strength to stand up to her.

 

I’d like to introduce you to my Bully Brain. BB for short.

She’s a mean, spiteful little bitch—and she lives rent-free in my head.

 

My internal dialogue was ruthless. I know yours probably is too.
And THAT is the problem.

 

We all have that voice. That cruel little narrator in the back of our minds, constantly throwing hateful shit at us.

But no one ever tells you the truth:
You can talk back.

In fact, you should.

 

Because no one else is going to stand up for you—no one else can hear the asshole.

 

“You’re only crazy if you talk back to the voices.”

That’s something I heard growing up.

And for some reason… I believed it.

 

It never occurred to me that I could just tell BB to shut up—and even better?
That she’d actually listen.

 

The Voice You Ignore Might Be Trying to Help

 

Let’s say a thought keeps popping into your head:
"You should do yoga."

 

You ignore it. But then a few days later, while stretching, that voice whispers again:
"You should really do yoga."

 

Still not listening.

Then one morning, you’re waiting for your coffee to brew, eyes closed, birds chirping, soft breeze coming through the window.
And there it is again:
"You should do yoga."

 

If you keep ignoring it? Don’t be surprised if you pull a muscle and end up in physical therapy—which, spoiler alert, is just stretching with a co-pay.

 

Sometimes, your brain isn’t bullying you.

It’s begging you to pay attention.

 

But Then There’s BB...

 

Sometimes it’s not helpful advice—it’s just her.

 

Like when your internal war is with your body (which, let’s be real, it usually is because society teaches us we’re never enough—but that’s a blog for another day).

 

You wake up, get dressed, and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Instant shame spiral.

BB slides into the front seat like she’s been waiting all morning.

 

Even if you’ve been having a good day—once she’s there, she lives to rip you apart.
And before you know it, you’re not just questioning your outfit—you’re questioning your worth, your relationships, your entire damn existence.

 

The funny thing is, we don’t know how to stand up for ourselves… to ourselves.

 

A Peek Inside My Head (You’re Not Alone)

Let me show you what it used to sound like inside my brain:

I’m sitting next to my husband. I’m relaxed. He moves his arm from my shoulder to my waist and pulls me closer.

And just like that, BB is awake.

BB:

    “OMG, he touched your stomach. Ewwww, it’s so squishy. I’m so embarrassed.”
    “You should sit up, suck in, maybe grab a blanket and cover yourself.”
    “Ew girl. You’re gross. You need to work out. Eat less.”
    “Let’s just do smoothies for the next few days.”
    “Actually, go eat that ice cream first. Tonight doesn’t matter. You already screwed up.”

So I get the ice cream.

 

And I eat it.

 

Every bite is a fight between the part of me that’s trying to feel okay… and BB, screaming that I’m a failure.

BB (again):

    “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ATE THAT. You’re so weak. You give in so easily.”

It spirals fast.

But here’s what changed:

I Started Talking Back.

When BB shows up now?

I fight.

If I’m in public, I tell her to bite dust—we’ll deal with it later.

If I’m home, and in a safe space? I engage.

Me:

    “What the hell is your problem?”
BB:
    “Your weight.”
Me:
    “Why is that a problem?”
BB:
    “Because you’re not comfortable in your skin.”
Me:
    “Okay. Are we willing to stay this way?”
BB:
    “No.”
Me:
    “Then what do we need to change?”
BB:
    “You already know.”
Me:
    “Cool. Let’s make a plan.”

 

And here’s the deal—if I don’t follow through on the plan and she shows up again, I don’t let her run the show.
I recognize she’s a reminder, not the ruler.

 

So, When BB Shows Up…

 

Don’t freak out. Don’t believe her.

But don’t ignore her either.
Pay attention. Ask questions. Set boundaries.

Sometimes she’s pointing to an unhealed part of you.
Sometimes she’s just being an asshole.

Either way—you’re the one in charge.

 

Next time she comes for you, just say:

    “Thanks for the reminder, but go kick rocks.”